First question.....butchering. The problem is that I've grown fond of Hammie. While I could slaughter most of the animals I raise, Hammie has become a pet. I could have put her into the freezer a few months ago, but alas no longer. This is a dilemma many homestead farmers face. What happens if you allow yourself to get emotionally involved with your livestock. In my case, I can keep an emotional distance most of the time. But sometimes I fail. Hammie is one of my failures.
Second question.....why not just sell her. Craigslist is active here on the island, so I'm sure she would sell quickly enough if I asked the right price. But I'm aware that 99% of buyers are looking for pork. And I'm not ready to do that to her. If she turned mean or aggressive, I'd dig the imu myself! But for right now I don't wish to see her become the star guest at a weekend luau.
Third.... While I'm willing to be generous I'm not quick to give things away for free. I expect some sort of trade, be it a bucket of rocks, some work weeding a garden, a bag of horse manure, a bucket of waste fruits, etc. I'm not a meanie, but experience has shown me that trading works better for everyone involved than outright giving for free. And by the way, giving her away simply translates into her being eaten.
PS- now that the word is out that Hammie is being bred, I have several people on a waiting list for a piglet. So unless things change, I'll keep Hammie until she raises her litter.