Help Wanted

Ok. I have finally admitted it. I'm too old to do this alone. So I'm asking readers if they have a couple of children that they'd like to sell at a reasonable price. They've gotta be cheap, real cheap because I plan to give them a clean dry place to sleep, free clothes (from the local thrift store), and free food. And you just know how much kids like to eat. They eat bucketfuls! But I figure I grow enough extra food to support 3, maybe 4 hardworking children. If they will work 6 hours a day, they can have the rest of the time off to go to school. 

If I can't find enough children, I might be willing to take on a second husband. My current husband isn't a farm type, so if you know of a candidate that wants to really be a farmer and put in 8-10 hours a day (weekends off), let me know. No drinkers. No smokers. No drugs. Cussin' is ok. A strong back and some experience is a plus. Free lodging and food. Kitchen and Internet privileges. May use the truck. Sorry, no TV (bring your own). While I'm not willing to pay for a second husband, I won't charge him room and board as long as he's a good worker. He can even build his own private cabin for himself as long as he does it in the weekends. 

By the way, I'm also in the market for a couple of civet cats. My coffee harvest is getting pretty big now and I'd like to diversify into selling kopi luwak coffee this year. I understand that it brings in good money, so it would be a good farm income item. 

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Happy April Fool's Day !